周二. 10 月 7th, 2025

Losing Me, Memory by Memory

Blurb:

Embark on an unforgettable journey in “The Dark Secrets of Lord Valthor,” where ancient prophecies and hidden powers collide. Follow the courageous heroine Elara as she uncovers the truth behind the mysterious Lord Valthor, a figure shrouded in shadow and intrigue. Alongside the loyal knight Sir Gideon and the cunning rogue Kaelen, Elara must navigate a world filled with mythical dragons, forbidden magic, and political conspiracies. Will she save the kingdom from impending doom, or will the dark forces led by the sinister sorcerer Morwen prevail? Dive into this gripping tale of adventure, romance, and epic battles that will keep you on the edge of your seat!

Content:

My husband, Fabian Hunt, is a neurologist.

To spend the rest of his life with his colleague, Yelena Walker, he’s been working day and night in the lab for the last three months. Finally, he succeeds in developing an experimental drug that can erase memories.

I happen to see his tablet one day. He forgets to log out of his account, so I go through his chat history.

Yelena: “Fabe, when can we finally be together without hiding?”

Fabian: “Darling, just wait a little longer. Once I switch Anya’s vitamin pills for the experimental drug, she’ll lose her memory. After that, she’ll ask for a divorce herself, and I won’t have to take any blame.”

In an instant, I feel a chill run down my spine. So, he’s willing to erase my memories of our time together just to get me to leave him.

Since that’s the case, I’ll give the adulterous pair what they want.

But when I start to forget one anniversary after another, Fabian asks me in a panic, “Anya, how can you forget everything about me?”
Chapter 1
I stared blankly at the chat history on the tablet. A tingling numbness crept over my scalp, and I couldn’t help but tremble all over as I read the lines over and over again. I still couldn’t believe it was real.
Yelena: “Fabe, I can’t wait any longer. I want to be with you out in the open. I don’t want to keep sneaking around like this.”
Fabian: “Darling, just give me a little more time. As long as she takes the medicine for a few months, she’ll start to lose her memories from the past seven years. I’ll coax her into divorcing me then.”
After that were messages filled with their filthy flirting.
So, all the things he never said to me in the past year, he said them all to his female colleague, Yelena.
I forced down the hurt as I scrolled further back. I discovered they had been together in the lab almost day and night for the past few months.
During the day, they worked on developing an experimental drug. At night, they slept in each other’s arms.
Bits and pieces of the past kept flashing in my mind. Many of my past suspicions were proven true.
It wasn’t a surprise that he had gotten busier and busier at the lab. He had been coming home increasingly later too. And when he did come back, he’d sit in the bathroom with his phone for a long time. If I happened to hear him talking in there, he would lie and say that it was a colleague from the lab.
We spent seven years sharing the same bed. In the end, we became like strangers who were bitter and resentful toward each other.
He could’ve been honest with me if he wanted to leave this marriage. I wouldn’t have clung to him.
But he wanted to throw me away like a burden without being the bad guy. He was even willing to wipe my memories before finally letting me go.
There was a throbbing pain in my chest as I tightened my grip on the tablet. Its cold outer shell dug painfully into my palm.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps from behind me.
“What are you looking at?” Fabian asked. He had come out of the shower and looked tense when he saw me gripping the tablet. It must have occurred to him that he might have forgotten to log out of his WhatsApp account.
I quickly composed myself and turned to look at him as if nothing was wrong.
“Nothing. My phone’s dead, so I used your tablet to check the weather,” I lied.
He snatched the tablet from my hands anxiously, his expression somewhat sour. When he saw the account had already been logged out, he finally relaxed, convinced that I knew nothing.
His gaze was gentle as he said, “You’re not well. Don’t go out if you don’t have to. Just stay home and rest.”
Before leaving, he reminded me, “By the way, our lab just developed a new multivitamin. It works wonders for the immune system. I’ll bring some tomorrow. Take it regularly, okay?”
I looked at the rare trace of guilt on his face.
A wave of bitterness surged within my chest, but I still answered with a quiet determination, “Okay.”

Fabian didn’t return that night. I wandered aimlessly around the house, running my hands over every piece of furniture and every wall. This place held the best seven years of our lives together.
When I first met Fabian, he was still a poor student. I was three years older than him and working at the hospital where he was interning. I noticed he was calm and steady, unlike other men who were so showy.

Chapter 2
I grew to like Fabian and purposely got closer to him. When I noticed how frugal he was, I often found ways to bring him food. From the early days of passionate romance to marriage, I was always the one making compromises for him.
His mother, Donna Gibson, fell seriously ill after we got married. Fabian was busy preparing for his PhD qualifying exams, so I had no choice but to quit my job and stay home to care for Donna.
As someone who never did any housework, I ended up personally caring for Donna until she passed away.
To help him focus on work, I took on all the responsibilities at home. I even willingly gave up having two children, all because he thought it was the wrong time to start a family. I also wanted nothing more than to be a supportive wife.
I didn’t know when he started to grow tired of me.
When I thought of the sweet and happy moments we once shared, there was an unbearable pain in my chest.
The beautiful memories I once cherished had become obstacles in Fabian’s quest to find true love.
At dawn, I finally made a difficult decision.
I buried myself under the warm covers and fell into a deep sleep. When I opened my eyes again, the smell from the kitchen woke me up.
I cleared my head and stepped out of my room. I was shocked to see Fabian clumsily carrying freshly made soup, trying to pour it into an insulated container.
He awkwardly explained when he saw me, “My colleagues at the lab were teasing me, telling me to show off my cooking skills, so I took some time to come home and make soup. Don’t read too much into it.”
I looked down at his soft, delicate hands, and a wave of sadness washed over me. A doctor’s hands were as important as a pianist’s. Over the past few years, I had never let him do any housework. But now, he was willing to do something like this for Yelena.
Noticing my silence, he hesitated before pouring a bowl of soup and placing it in front of me. Then, he took a bottle of medicine out of his pocket. He pushed it toward my hand and said, “I just brought this back. Take it with the soup. It’ll help with absorption.”
I stared at the label on the bottle that read “vitamins”, and a chill ran through me. The moment I held the bottle, I had a sudden urge to shout and ask why he had to hurt and deceive me.
But in the end, I just took a long look at him. Without hesitation, I opened the bottle and took one pill, then swallowed it. I raised the bowl and drank the soup in one go.
If he had shown hesitation at any point, I would’ve been willing to give him another chance. But I only saw the eagerness in his eyes when I took the pill.
My heart had reached its breaking point, and only an empty loneliness remained.

For the next month, I took the drug every day as Fabian instructed and never missed a dose.
He continued to leave early and come home late. The happiness of being in a new romance always showed on his face.
My memory began to fade slowly. It didn’t disappear all at once. It started with forgetting our wedding anniversary. On the day itself, Fabian had arranged for a bouquet and a gown to be delivered to me, which was very unlike him.
He called and said, “I’ve booked the restaurant for dinner together, and that gown is for you. Dress up nicely. Many of my colleagues at the lab will be joining too.”
“Is today a special day? Did your lab have a new breakthrough?” I asked, confused.
He paused noticeably on the phone. When he spoke again, he sounded a little disappointed. “Did you forget so soon? It’s nothing. Just remember to come on time, alright?”
As my memory grew fuzzy, my awareness also dulled. I decided not to think about anything else.
After putting on my makeup, I showed up on time. When I arrived at the venue, everyone looked at me, then at Yelena. She was dressed to the nines.
The expressions on the rest were somewhat unreadable.
I smiled gently and said, “Hello, everyone. Sorry to interrupt your gathering. Please don’t mind me. Do enjoy yourselves.”
Then, I found a seat on my own and sat down.
Fabian walked over to me and asked tentatively, “Anya, have you felt unwell since taking the vitamins?”

Chapter 3
I knew Fabian was worried about the drug’s efficacy. After a brief pause, I shook my head calmly.
A flicker of emotion flashed in his eyes, and there was even a moment of doubt.
Seeing that, Yelena walked over and called out warmly, “Anya, Fabian has mentioned you so many times. I finally got to meet you for the first time.”
I could see the provocation in her eyes, but I found it laughable. I finally understood why Fabian had fallen for her. She was too much like the younger me. Yelena was bright, bold, and clever. She radiated a strong, lively spirit.
What had erased those things from me? Perhaps it was the mundane routines of family life and days of not finding my worth. Maybe it was also the looks of disregard from the one I loved.
I picked up my wine glass from the table and took the initiative to clink it with Yelena’s. “Thank you for always having Fabian’s back. I hope the two of you will become more in tune with each other over time,” I said.
For some reason, Fabian looked flustered for a moment. He interrupted our conversation and pulled Yelena over to stand among their colleagues.
After turning down their invitation to play some games together, I went on a stroll and admired the place. It was an early summer night, and fireflies flickered among the grass.
Delighted, I cupped one in my hands and watched it in the dark.
Suddenly, I heard Yelena speak coyly to Fabian behind me. “Fabian, she has a firefly in her hands. Can you let us see one too?”
Hearing that, Fabian looked at me awkwardly. But I suddenly lost interest and released the firefly.
“Get Fabian to catch one for you. He used to be really good at it,” I said.
He froze for a moment because I was talking about something from when we had just started dating. My memory loss was very random and fragmented.
That night, he got drunk and whispered softly in my ear. Only then did I vaguely remember that it was our wedding anniversary.

After our anniversary, Fabian seemed afraid the drug wouldn’t work well. Whether intentionally or not, he kept an eye on me to make sure I was taking it. Every time he saw me take it dutifully, he looked relieved yet somewhat disappointed.
I found it rather amusing. So, did he want me to forget or not? However, my memory was indeed getting worse.
“This was your birthday gift to me. Don’t you remember?”
“That’s a movie we talked about during our college days.”
“Anya, I don’t eat olives. Did you forget?”
“Anya, Benjamin is treating us to dinner. What? You don’t know him? He was the best man at our wedding!”
More and more of our conversations were about what I had forgotten.
Fabian frowned slightly.
I suddenly recalled when we first met. He had a look of displeasure when he saw a male colleague walk me back to my dorm. That had been long ago.
But even though he had gotten upset then, he’d still reply to Yelena’s messages with a bright smile.
Every day, he used work at the lab as an excuse when he was actually spending time with her. I couldn’t help but laugh at Yelena’s sneaky Instagram posts. She didn’t have to worry. Soon, they would spend the rest of their lives together.
Every time Yelena and Fabian visited a place that Fabian and I had been to, she would message me to test the waters.
“Anya, my boyfriend and I went to Graydon Hot Springs. The place is great. Have you and Fabe been there?”
“Anya, has Fabe taken you to the revolving restaurant?”
“Anya, the wisterias in spring are gorgeous. Have you seen them before?”
I didn’t know what was wrong with the drug Fabian had developed. The memory loss was patchy, and I still vaguely remembered these things. Regardless, I always replied to Yelena that I hadn’t been to those places.
I was sick of this game of cat-and-mouse and just wanted to leave like they wanted me to.
The day of Fabian’s birthday, I had truly forgotten about it, but the calendar reminder on my phone made me remember. In the past years, I would prepare his gift months in advance. I’d give him something I’d made by hand.

Chapter 4
Over the years, I had knitted Fabian scarves, bow ties, socks, and sweaters.
That morning, I saw Yelena’s post about celebrating his birthday on Instagram. The attached welcome card was from a famous hotel.
I turned off my phone notifications and focused on studying for my counseling course. I knew I needed to make a living after the divorce. Fortunately, even though my memory was fading, my ability to learn had not declined. After all, I no longer had to give Fabian my full attention and love anymore.
I was learning surprisingly fast too.
At 10:00 pm, I was ready to sleep after my shower. But I received a call from Fabian, and I wondered how he had the time to call me at this hour. I hadn’t expected his tone to be off the moment I answered.
“Anya, do you really not remember what day it is today?”
I looked at the night view photo from the hotel Yelena had just shared five minutes ago.
Suddenly, I couldn’t figure him out anymore. “Fabian, I’m a little tired today. I’m going to sleep now, so let’s talk tomorrow.”

Fabian was stunned when Anya ended the call on him. Memories of every birthday she had celebrated with him flooded his mind all at once. He felt a strange bitterness inside, as if something important was slipping away from his life.
That sense of loss and grievance caught him off guard. Even seeing Yelena in her seductive red nightgown suddenly felt dull.
His heart skipped a beat, and he shook off the distracting thoughts forcefully.
Fabian sank back into Yelena’s embrace, and the two of them spent the whole night tangled in a passionate embrace.
After Fabian fell asleep, Yelena posed seductively and took a photo. Then, she posted again on Instagram. The designer bag beside her was as eye-catching as her red nightgown.
She wrote in her post, “My boyfriend gave me a gift on his birthday. I don’t even know who’s really the one celebrating. I love him so much!”
Comments flooded in with well wishes.

I saw Yelena’s post the next morning. I was dazed for a moment before remembering her boyfriend was Fabian.
This drug was truly strange. It didn’t seem to erase my memories in order of time but rather memories connected to a certain person.
I realized I had very few memories of Fabian left. The only thing I knew was that he was my husband, and he had cheated on me. But other than that, I had almost completely forgotten what had happened between us.
My feelings for him had faded so much that they were almost gone.
Unable to resist joining in the fun, I even liked Yelena’s post. I swore I meant it sincerely.
Fabian was so much older than her, so it was essentially him robbing the cradle. Honestly, he was the one getting the better deal, and even I felt a little embarrassed for her.
I laughed out loud, having amused myself.
When Fabian opened the door and saw me smiling so brightly, his guilty expression darkened. After a moment of silence, he asked, “What made you so happy? Last night, I—”
I looked at him in confusion. “What happened last night?”
His words caught in his throat, and he said nothing in the end.
Seeing that, I got up and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I made sunny-side-up eggs, some toast, and a fruit salad. Then, I poured two glasses of milk.
“If you haven’t eaten yet, why don’t you join me for a bite?” I casually invited him.
He was happy to come over, but his expression changed in an instant.
“Anya, I’m allergic to milk. Don’t you remember?”
I froze, then said, “Oh, really? Sorry, I forgot. Lately, I seem to have trouble remembering things about you. What’s going on? Why did we get together in the first place? It’s very strange. Why am I only forgetting things about you?”
Fabian’s expression grew darker as I spoke, showing signs that he might explode.

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By cocoxs